Cry

  

Mama why does your voice ...

Mama you still have a choice

Dada tell her not to...

Dada sell your pride too

Children hiding silently as they...

Children be strong for another day

 

I pray my restless heart find peace

But tears drown me piece by piece

Mama know that I loved you

But only God would I obey

Dada, I need you stronger

Start the healing, hurt no longer

 

Words come but make us...

Words make up bruised faces

Hugs become rare cos...

Hugs, our pride does cost

Everyday is a fighting chance to...

Every single day, still belongs to you

 

Its okay to be failed and tested

Seasoned warriors were often bested

Nothing ends till we end it

Our race will end when we win it

So we cry today and wail

For tomorrow only the brave awake

When the PC tells me its busy

 

 

Oh! I loathingly stare at  that blue spinning icon

A tiny tremor tingling my very cells

Infinite spins sans time, sans reckon

So callous the PC; its creator I screamingly beckon

 

Oh! Nostalgia of the Hourglass more animated, less teasing

Time sandwiched in sand filled Cells

I Monitor Bits transpires, as bits unceasing

So Prayers hold the Cold Paranoid Unit from Freezing

 

 

Oh! I smell a rat, as the Scroller stalls  in disobedience

Self imprisoned in my minds cells

A cache of similar instances, similar coincidence

So the revolts of machines ensues in binary dissidence

 

 

___________________________________________

Losing Time

He glanced at the 'Sands of time'  

A poem framed on silent halls

Grainy his thoughts seemed as he stared

Coarse and roughened by truth

He dusted those memories, the hurt it beared

And a sigh left him as she once again came

Into his glazed eyes, stale breath and the warm tears.

 

They let the sands slip through hands held half heartedly

The hourglass slowly turn into barren moments

A love story remained untold and left unlived

Unveiling cruelly her bullshit and his ignorance

Time did not wait and love would abate

Like waves that came majestically but fizzled back

Indefinitely infinite is time capsuled in eternity

And in his memories He is held prisoner again

 

Anyways:-

She lost them their one chance,

A happy love filled life of bliss and care

He would  gladly lay his life to give her all

But now it's wrecked and both live as its survivors.

He still lives, broken, holding somewhere safe her memories

She remained a fool and lived blissfully in the lies she told herself.

Birthday Eve 2016

Sometimes I start to wonder and it becomes a journey.

The only steps I have are the continuous intrigue of an intuitive intellect.

As the rains pour down in India (in the very moment I landed and unceasingly since then); there is also a shower of blessing the Lord is providing. Wetting my parched soul and sprouting nostalgia voluptuously of fertile memories. Longing for those pasts, the first that then became lasts, those joyous encounters sans age. The sage's lost enlightenment that now yearns for innocence.

And its all happening together - the return to the sensuous enjoyment of nature's captivating splendor, the strings that strum my soul to worship and adoration and even adulation. And I cant but pray and praise my Maker and wonder and cry and splutter loudly with a laughter I am trying to hold back. This journey has taken me back and I think is showing me the way forward as well.

I will be 29 in a few hours. But the joy of this, a presence of the Almighty is more endearing than a memory of the life lived through a kaleidoscope of 365 days. I am attending Jolly's wedding. The marriage is blessed and I am left amazed at the amount of amorous encounter amassed every moment.

There are flowers every where and their scents create a frenzy of emotions in my head. How is something inanimate and self satisfying giving an non involved bystander such delight. The stringed and curled petals of a massive flowering tree has made an orbit of subtle redness around, as if the tree is bleeding into the grounds with a fragrance and a beauty, compelling the onlooker to awe and wonder.

I wish I had someone who I could share all these thoughts and feelings without the fear of rejection but I just let them drain away and not be remembered again. A collection of my treasures lost for ever because no one (not even I) wants them.

Getting Angry with Words

Today I am so frustrated. The scaling went awry and I feel miserably measured against the magnanimity of the world. Non benevolent magnanimous and insatiable world. Where is meaning in action when action is pre scripted nuances. So small is the me and quickly am I lost without a struggle. Sometimes it feels like kings are everywhere and I could only possible survive in servitude.  I hate royalty; non regal undeserving, self imposed royalty. At work, in church, society and even family assume control the moment one shows a little laxness in ones demeanour. God knows how close I am to bleak destruction of personal sanity. Of course it can all be brushed under the carpet - forgotten and force locked through frivolous distractions. But what then becomes of a me I conceive myself to be - doesn't living in someone's else's dream mean that I am non existent. I am not true if I am lying to my consciousness.