Birthday Eve 2016

Sometimes I start to wonder and it becomes a journey.

The only steps I have are the continuous intrigue of an intuitive intellect.

As the rains pour down in India (in the very moment I landed and unceasingly since then); there is also a shower of blessing the Lord is providing. Wetting my parched soul and sprouting nostalgia voluptuously of fertile memories. Longing for those pasts, the first that then became lasts, those joyous encounters sans age. The sage's lost enlightenment that now yearns for innocence.

And its all happening together - the return to the sensuous enjoyment of nature's captivating splendor, the strings that strum my soul to worship and adoration and even adulation. And I cant but pray and praise my Maker and wonder and cry and splutter loudly with a laughter I am trying to hold back. This journey has taken me back and I think is showing me the way forward as well.

I will be 29 in a few hours. But the joy of this, a presence of the Almighty is more endearing than a memory of the life lived through a kaleidoscope of 365 days. I am attending Jolly's wedding. The marriage is blessed and I am left amazed at the amount of amorous encounter amassed every moment.

There are flowers every where and their scents create a frenzy of emotions in my head. How is something inanimate and self satisfying giving an non involved bystander such delight. The stringed and curled petals of a massive flowering tree has made an orbit of subtle redness around, as if the tree is bleeding into the grounds with a fragrance and a beauty, compelling the onlooker to awe and wonder.

I wish I had someone who I could share all these thoughts and feelings without the fear of rejection but I just let them drain away and not be remembered again. A collection of my treasures lost for ever because no one (not even I) wants them.